Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Tumblr

Dear Blogspot,
I am sorry that I have been neglecting you recently. It's tumblr's fault. It's addictive. I promise though to keep posting on you. You see tumblr is like social networking. It's pictures and music and short videos. You are feelings and thoughts and emotions. I can't quit either of you because I am visual and artsy but a person all the same.
With Love,
always,
Claire

Saturday, December 18, 2010

"Έτσι."

Έτσι.
Θα τρως ραβιόλια πήχτρα στην κρέμα γάλακτος, θα πίνεις 3 λίτρα κόκα κόλα σε 2 ώρες, θα βαριέσαι, θα τσεκάρεις ξανά και ξανά άσκοπα τα mail σου, θα κάθεσαι μπροστά στην εκάστοτε οθόνη σου, στο facebook, στο twitter σου, στο μπλογκ σου, γιατί τώρα τελευταία όλ'αυτά είναι και τρεντιές, θα ενημερώνεις τον κόσμο για τη μίζερη/γαμάτη/κενή ζωή σου, θα αναστενάζεις. Θα παίζεις Kingdom Hearts/God of War/Assassin's Creed στο PSP μέχρι να βγάλουν φουσκάλες οι αντίχειρές σου, θα παίζεις WoW 2 μέρες σερί χωρίς διάλειμμα για τουαλέτα, θα βλέπεις τσόντες, θα κάνεις φαντασιώσεις, θα σκέφτεσαι εκείνο/η τον/ην πρώην που σου έφερε τα πάνω κάτω, θα πέφτεις στον καναπέ και θα ανοίγεις την τηλεόραση μόνο για να μη σκέφτεσαι. Θα ξεσκίζεις τη μια σοκολάτα μετά την άλλη, θα πετάς χαρτάκια από καραμέλες κάτω στο πάτωμα, θα κουκουλώνεσαι με τα παπλώματα στο κρεβάτι, θα βλέπεις ρομάντζα στο dvd, θα ακούς Erik Satie, θα λαγοκοιμάσαι, θα αγκαλιάζεις το λούτρινό σου/το μαξιλάρι σου. Θα κοιτάς έξω απ'το παράθυρο τον ουρανό (αν φαίνεται), θα κοιτάς το φεγγάρι, θα αναρωτιέσαι πώς στο διάολο περνάει έτσι ο καιρός ρε γαμώτο, θα σκεφτείς φευγαλέα μέρη στα οποία θέλεις να πας, θα ονειροπολείς, θα τρως τα νύχια σου, θα παίζεις με τα μαλλιά σου/μούσια σου. Θα μαστουρώνεις με τη μυρωδιά των μαρκαδόρων οινπνεύματος, θα κάνεις ένα τσιγάρο, θα γδύνεις το σπίτι για να βρεις κάτι γλυκό, θα κοιτάς τον εαυτό σου στον καθρέφτη για κανένα πεντάλεπτο ανέκφραστος/η, θα παίρνεις ασπιρίνη για τον πονοκέφαλο, θα κάνεις ηττοπαθείς σκέψεις. Θα θαυμάζεις το Macbook/τα Linux σου, θα βάζεις στη διαπασών ροκιές/τζαζιές στα ηχεία σου, θα κάθεσαι στο πάτωμα του μπάνιου αναρωτώμενος/η τι δεν έκανες σωστά, θα βρίζεις και θα αυτομαστιγώνεσαι, θα κλείνεις τα μάτια κουρασμένος/η. Θα κλαις.

Έτσι. Έτσι γιατί δεν ξέρεις πώς αλλιώς να βγεις απ'το αδιέξοδό σου.

best thing I've read in a while.
via Daphne

Monday, December 6, 2010

I'm going to miss you.

"I also may have had more ice-cream than my stomach could handle. Not too much. Never too much ice cream.
Totally worth it."

The key to life.

They asked me what the key to life is.
I said happiness.
They asked me what I wanted to be when grow up.
I said happy.
They told me I didn't understand the question.
I told them they didn't understand life.

Global Economics De-mystefied

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRTISM: You have 2 cows, the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A GREEK CORPORATION: You have two cows, you count them as three and ask the Government for a subsidy on all.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

Cna yuo raed tihs?

Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos no t raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

11 rules to life

Bill Gates gave a speech at a High School about 11 things tthe kids did not and will not learn in school. He talked about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.


Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you chances as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Διαφορές Άγγλου - Έλληνα κατά τη διάρκεια της εργασίας.

Άγγλος: Σοβαρά ; Απίστευτο ! Εντυπωσιακό!
Ελληνάρας: Πω, πω κουφάθηκα ρε πούστη!

Άγγλος: Δε με απασχολεί ιδιαίτερα το συγκεκριμένο ζήτημα.
Ελληνάρας: Στ' αρχίδια μου!

Άγγλος: Μου αρέσουν οι προκλήσεις.
Ελληνάρας: Γαμώ την τύχη μου! Κι άλλη στραβή!

Άγγλος: Δεν είχα σχέση με το συγκεκριμένο εγχείρημα.
Ελληνάρας: Τι στο διάολο έχω να κάνω εγώ με αυτή την παπαριά!

Άγγλος: Θα είναι δύσκολο να συντονίσουμε τις ενέργειές μας.
Ελληνάρας: Να πάει να γαμηθεί και να το κάνει μόνος του ο καριόλης!

Άγγλος: Ναι, οπωσδήποτε σήμερα θα μπορέσω να δουλέψω μερικές ώρες παραπάνω.
Ελληνάρας: Ωραία! Και κερατάς και δαρμένος!

Άγγλος: Με συγχωρείτε.
Ελληνάρας: ΕΕ! Εσύ!

Άγγλος: Με συγχωρείτε, Κύριε.
Ελληνάρας: ΕΕ! Εσύ! Ναι, ΕΣΥ ρε μαλάκα!

Άγγλος: Λυπάμαι αλλά δε μπορώ να σε εξυπηρετήσω.
Ελληνάρας: Δε γαμιέσαι λέω εγώ!

Άγγλος: Επιτέλους αναγνωρίστηκαν οι προσπάθειές της.
Ελληνάρας: Τι; Πήρε προαγωγή; Αναρωτιέμαι πόσους από το διοικητικό συμβούλιο έχει τσιμπουκώσει!!

Άγγλος: Μήπως θυμάσαι που τοποθέτησες τα έγγραφα που σου έδωσα;
Ελληνάρας: Τι τα έκανες τα κωλόχαρτα;

Άγγλος: Νομίζω πως η πρότασή σου είναι ανεφάρμοστη.
Ελληνάρας: Καλά, σκατά έχεις στο μυαλό σου;

Άγγλος: Το νέο αίτημα του για αύξηση απορρίφθηκε.
Ελληνάρας: Πάλι τα αρχίδια μου πήρε!

Άγγλος: Δεν υπάρχουν περιθώρια για περαιτέρω ανέλιξη.
Ελληνάρας: Θα ψοφήσεις και θα είσαι ακόμα κλητήρας!

Άγγλος: Οι συνθήκες εργασίας δεν είναι οι ιδανικότερες.
Ελληνάρας: Μπουρδέλο έχουμε καταντήσει!

. , : ; ? !

1)

Dear Jack,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we are apart. I can be forever happy. Will you let me be yours?
Dana

Dear Jack,
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you, are generous, kind, thoughtful people who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men I yearn. For you I have no feelings whatsoever. When we are apart I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Dana

2)

Woman, without her, man is nothing.

Woman, without her man, is nothing.

3)

Let's eat, Grandma.

Let's eat Grandma!


Punctuation saves lives.

CAKE

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Hi Ku!

Haikus are easy
but sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

Pursuit of Happiness

We have bigger houses but smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time;
we have more degrees, but less sense;
more knowledge, but less judgment;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicines, but less healthiness;
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor;
We built more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication;
We have become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These are times of fast food but slow digestion;
Tall man but short character;
Steep profits but shallow relationships.
It's a time when there is much in the room, but nothing in the room.
-14th Daliai Lama

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Love and Light, Brandon XIV

7 am
The garbage truck beeps
as it backs up
and
I start my day
thinking about
what I've thrown away.
Could I push
rewind?

Love and Light, Brandon XIII

Marijuana made High School interesting and fun in all other topics, but in Algebra it made High School just plane High.

Love and Light, Brandon XII

Ask yourself:
-Will I die wearing this shirt?
-Do I have something in my teeth?
-If eyes are the window into our soul, where's the front door?
-Dare I ask, the back door?
-Are there such things as soul-mates?
-Are we all innately good?
-Is true monogamy possible?
-Can a man or a woman truly be happy with one person for the rest of his/her life?
-Does my ass look fat in these jeans?
-Do you have to love someone in order to hate them?
-Can someone really be accident prone?
-If we never got sick, would we enjoy health?
-Has there been, is there, or will there be someone who is universally desired?
-When will we be able to travel without moving?
-Is anybody listening?
-Which is more important, the pencil or the eraser?
-Choose one:
~taste
~sight
~smell
~touch
~hear
-Why does it us feel better when strangers suffer?
-Is vanity biological?
-If scars, stretch-marks, and wrinkles are roadmaps, why do westerners slave over covering their tracks?
-How many people getting tattoos right now will get them removed?
-If you don't need a license to be a parent, why do we need one to fish?

I think I have been preparing myself consciously and unconsciously to know things that others don't. Or things that others couldn't handle. So in that case, I'm ready to know more.

Love and Light, Brandon XI

But I guess my intentions, as always, are rooted in transcendence.

Love and Light, Brandon X

It's funny the thing you notice once you start paying attention.

Love and Light, Brandon IX

We all have rituals. Banal and trite, or completely over the top, they are what makes our time alive seem real; and for some validate their very existence.

Love and Light, Brandon VIII

Funny isn't it? We'll be remembered, after the ashes fall, as a species who had unlimited, untapped potential. Given a garden and gave back a desert.

Love and Light, Brandon VII

The world is a rollercoaster and I'm not strapped in.
Maybe I should hold with care, but my hands are busy in the air.

Love and Light, Brandon VI

If I were a sidewalk, I would ask those who tread on me tread with light feet.

Love and Light, Brandon V

What mattered was the feeling. I felt fucking cool writing. And if that isn't enough reason on it's own I don't know what is.

Love and Light, Brandon IV

There's something uncomfortably fascinating about riding in elevators with strangers.
What I need now is a friend who can appreciate such things and we could traverse the country, riding elevators, feeling wonderfully unsettled...together.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Alone

past
present
future
And lately what I want to do is never what I need to do and where I want to be is never where I need to be.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Humans vs. Zombies

human:


zombie (turned late day 3):

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Halloween at MICA!



Mario & Poison Ivy's first real Halloween ever!
I'm glad I was able to spend it with you.